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new piercing + passing out = vision quest & you were there ~ heart, John Doe

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Monday, February 26th, 2007
11:04 pm

That would be a link to our first YouTube movie. It was made for a film challenge that happens in CoMo every year called "One Night Stand" where you register in groups and then the genre is pulled at random and you're given 24 hours to make a 3 minute film. Clearly this is our 7.5 cut. Personally I think that the 3 minute version was better, but that got destroyed at the contest and we re-did it this way. And yes. We were quite drunk. And yes. Skip and I gayed it up in a big, big way. No. Seriously. Everyone was like "be gayer!" so I did. You can behold the absolute absurd hilarity and extreme mockery of everything.

Sequels will come. In a big way. They will be better.

Watch it.

It is an expose on Supergirl. You will enjoy.

There's also a low-res version if high-res isn't your thing. Just search for "under the cape." There's also a fake trailer for episode 2. That's pretty effing funny too.

(cast a stone)

Friday, January 19th, 2007
10:30 pm
Okay. So. How amazing is this?

I just got a job. At a comic book store. For serious. I now get paid to A) sell people comic books. B) talk about comic books. C) read comic books. D) occasionally do homework.

That mixed with my new found ability of self-inducing a montage, it feels like I live in an indie dry comedy. You know. The ironic kind that utilizes a brilliant soundtrack and seasoned improv actors to showcase love, politics and why the X-Men would totally beat the JLA in a fight.

current mood: hilarious

(cast a stone)

Sunday, January 14th, 2007
10:12 pm
Your results:
You are Apocalypse
Lex Luthor
Poison Ivy
Dr. Doom
Mr. Freeze
Dark Phoenix
The Joker
Green Goblin
You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

(cast a stone)

Friday, December 1st, 2006
7:33 pm
Oh yeah. Forgot to tell everyone here in these 'ole parts of the intranet.

my future. it's like xavier's school for gifted youngsters, only older, and angstier, and less about superpowers so much as crazy hippy art shitCollapse )

current mood: SNOWDAY 2006!!!

(cast a stone)

7:24 pm
challenge me to a duel... of words!Collapse )

current mood: snowday 2006!

(cast a stone)

Friday, September 15th, 2006
3:47 pm
after muchvery little actual deliberation I've come to a conclusion regarding the 'ole LJ. It's being reduced to rants and fandoms and geekdoms. If you want my life go do the MySpace thing. Sometimes I update that.

Ah yes. But here? Here it shall be ramblings about movies that I've seen. Comic book gushings. Unbridled music gossip and/or bitching. This shall house topics such as Tori Amos, Brian K. Vaughn, slash, RPs, the proper usage of drama points, Christopher Moore, and how to best decorate one's room with action figures.

Whedon, X-Men, Buffy and a grand suprise.Collapse )

(cast a stone)

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
10:32 am
seriously. what the fuck?

don't mind me, I'm just playing out the most overused line in my book from the past four years. if you know what I'm NOT TALKING ABOUT then you're going to roll your eyes at me. if not, well, you don't really want to know unless you want me simultaneously laughing and crying on your bedroom floor while I explain it.

current mood: tremendously complicated

(cast a stone)

Wednesday, June 14th, 2006
12:11 am
Hey, John, how bad did your day suck? You locked yourself out of your apartment at 2:45 in the afternoon? While your roommate was in Wyoming? Yeah? You had to call a friend to drive you back to work because you were on your lunch break? Wow. You spend the rest of the night with a different friend, like you'd planned on doing, but you couldn't shower or shave or brush your teeth or change out of the suit and tie? Huh. Exhausted now? Forced to stay up and do laundry so you have something to wear to your kind of awful mall job tomorrow?

Whoa. Major bummer.

current mood: so, so tired

(cast a stone)

Monday, June 12th, 2006
8:41 am
sorry I've not been around lately. between the two jobs I'm pulling 13 days in a row. today is 10 of 13. give me awhile here, kids.

(cast a stone)

Saturday, May 20th, 2006
10:01 am
My grandfather passed away this morning. We weren't close by any means, but I did like him. Everybody liked him. You would have liked him. He told jokes. He sang songs. I have his nose. He was a pastor or preacher or whatever, but it was difficult to get a sense of what he actually believed.

This season is odd. I'll have to wear a tie I guess.

current mood: or whatever

(cast a stone)

Friday, May 5th, 2006
1:51 am
"but no, that sounds good too. doesn't it? you'll be happier."

(cast a stone)

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
1:35 am
It is both sad and beautiful that I can call my mother and she can make everything all better again. She is truly the source from which I draw all of my strength. She is my cells. I can only hope and pray that I someday become the strong, beautiful, all-loving person that she is.

current mood: drunk, but rarely

(cast a stone)

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
11:14 pm
I'm really, really tired. I live life like I'm a 23 year old, which is funny, because that's what I am. Everyone in the 25th Hour is wound tight. Every senior is wound up pretty tight these days. I've lost count of the number of people who are broodier and angstier than the bastard offspring of Angel and the cast of Popular. I've lost count of the number of cigarettes that have been bummed, the number of heads crying on my shoulder, the civil wars being waged, the endless beers, the raging hormones.

They warn you about college. They don't warn you about the end of it.

(cast a stone)

1:47 am - Meet Halfway in Case of Crisis.
I think maybe I've been writing my goodbye to him. It's how I say goodbye without letting them know. Once upon a time, ages ago, I don't know. Years. I was 19. It was at the end. Things were always more complicated than I tell people. I said goodbye to RM. I did it by writing this really grand piece (mostly all in one night), this fucking epic genre bit that was being submitted for a scholarship. I didn't care about the scholarship. I cared about giving myself an excuse for saying goodbye. To him. It was nice. I ended the world. I ended several worlds actually.

Last year I wrote the best thing that I have ever, ever written. All in one night. That wasn't a goodbye to anyone. I know maybe it looked like it. I mean, tGT did make an appearance of sorts, and maybe died in the end. But that wasn't a goodbye. That was a plot device.

Now. This is my senior capstone. It's a really terrific project. One that I'm quite pleased with. But I kinda fear that the whole first third of it is a goodbye to PC. I don't know if I want to say goodbye to PC. PC was really, really great. But the fact that I've incorporated him into a large dystopian genre piece worries me that I'm wrapping him up in fiction so that he has a place to exist in my life without further continuation.

Or maybe it's 2 in the morning and I'm tired and also have no job or grad school lined up. Maybe I'm just playing all my favorite games with myself. Maybe it's the music I'm listening to and how I haven't listened to it a long, long, like ages, time.

current mood: there need to be more words

(cast a stone)

Saturday, March 25th, 2006
11:04 am
...the degree to which i do not wish to leave the duplex of splendor for work is both astoundingly beautiful and terrifyingly honest...

current mood: his eyes were pretty

(cast a stone)

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
10:25 pm
There are lots of things dancing in my head. The 16-Square. Fires. Explosions. White Martians. Revolution. Revolution. Revolution. The future. Fear and/of Insanity. Exhaustion. I am so, so tired these days. Every day. I just want dancing. I want to be able to laugh again. I want to sleep soundly. I want to have everything. I want to see the stars. I want to breathe easy. I want the breeze and the rain. I want Monday night (snowflakes the size of quarters mixed with thunder and lightning) ingrained in my head for forever. I want to own my own power. I want to reclaim my shadow. I want to dance with you in a parking lot. I took off your mark the yesterday in class because it's wearing down and I didn't want to lose it. I want the stars. I want more coffee. I want to wake up. This is all about perception and I can't grant words to the way I see the world and I just wish you could see through my eyes. I wish you could see the power and the fury and the beauty and all of the fucking work that still needs to be done. I feel like I'm just a machine, a machine with a heart, and I can rust and I can shut down and I can love and be loved but I don't have time for any of it because I have to plow forward and onward and get shit done. I am a drone. Call me John Doe. Call me XZ-951. I need no name, because I just do the work, I don't need the validation. I just need the work to get done. I am a machine, little more. I am an effing juggernaut. The 16-Square is beautiful. I wish you could see it. Revolution. Always revolution. Revolution and Dancing. I came up with that first. That was my line. Minor chords. Things have to slow down. Minor chords. Something wicked this way comes. Balancing cake and bread. Tightropes. The doors. The doors. The 16-Square and the Mortal Coil and and and Utopia means both Heaven and Nowhere. Which means that Dystopia is the equal and opposite reaction; it means both Hell and Everywhere. And can the two be married? And do you feel it? The air? Did you just feel that? And you don't, none of you, you don't even, even know if I'm being cryptic and weird and artistic or if all of this real and you wouldn't know to believe me if I told you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I am so fucking sober right now. I just wish to work in a coffee shop. Coffee shop, or maybe record store. Things will be simple and I will serve coffee and I will sell people music. And I will find love and marry someone nice and grow old and die and never do anything even remotely remarkable. There will be no epics. This is what I wish for.

current mood: supernova

(cast a stone)

Saturday, March 18th, 2006
2:22 am
I feel that this whole week was really just one of those nights stretched out over entire days. One of those nights where you can drink a hundred beers and still be sober as a rock. I've had so, so much alcohol and with the exception of becoming brave enough to karaoke, I haven't felt a drop of it.

Additionally, tonight, we were at a local Irish/Straight/Cowboy/Dive bar and while I was waiting to pay my tab the really hot stranger next to me, well, it went like this:

Him: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Me: < thinking > God. No.< /thinking > Sure.
Him: Have you heard of any cockfighting in this part of Missouri?
Me: Um. That depends which definition of the term you mean.
Him: Hahahaha... wha?

Turns out he was doing a paper about the whole illegal "two birds enter, one leaves" thing. I was thinking about something decidely more homo. And despite how much he laughed and was adorably confused and wanted to know, I didn't tell him what I'd actually been thinking of.

current mood: not a thousand beers

(cast a stone)

Monday, March 6th, 2006
6:13 pm
Sometimes things are simple.

Fuck you, South Dakota. And fuck you, Missouri.

What next? Wanna burn some witches at the stake? Maybe crucify some revolutionaries? Yeah. We all know you're down with that.

Fuckers. I'll send an army of clones after you. For real.

current mood: pissed

(cast a stone)

Saturday, March 4th, 2006
1:38 am
I like the image of candles. I like the idea of prayer. Which is not to say that I indulge in either of them, but they're comforting ideas and images in my mind. Quite often these days. For reasons I have mentioned. Mostly for reasons that almost none of you know about.

Additionally. Despite any differences I have had with anyone who reads this... I love you. I don't care anymore. Each and every one of you has something really magical, something essential to the continuation of the human species. You are loved. Even if we've had rumblings.

Peace be.


current mood: I ask for:

(cast a stone)

Friday, February 10th, 2006
2:28 am
I haven't really talked about this much. Not here. Not really.

My grandmother died last Saturday morning. Visitation on Tuesday. Funeral yesterday. In the morning there were really big snowflakes. I almost flipped off a preacher. I saw far too many people that I care about break down crying. I saw far too many people I don't know and don't care to know. I saw far too many people. I really wish I'd been stoned for the visitation.

Let me tell you about my grandmother. She had soft hands. She taught me how to bake bread. She was willful. She was strong willed. She was obsessed. She had an iron spine. In her youth she was very beautiful. She thought I was one of the greatest people ever and she always wanted me to do something important with my life. She was convinced that she was going to live to see The Rapture. I loved her but I did not like her. I screened my phone calls so I wouldn't have to talk to her very often. She thought I was brilliant and great, but she also never liked the directions I was and am going in. She wanted me to be a preacher. I wanted her to understand that I'm not a christian. She wanted me to be everything that I'm not.

I do not miss her. I will not miss her. She lived a full life. She was seventy-five. She left behind two wonderful daughters, six to eight grandchildren, two great-grandchildren. She had her legacy. Death happens. It's just the way it is. Very, very few things last forever.

All night I have been looking at pictures of cities, at night, taken from outer space. I have listened to the same song over and over and over. Yesterday I was very, very tired. I was the kind of tired that you only get after very long airplane rides. Tonight I just am. Tonight I want to call people and tell them that I love them. I want to run. I want to write. I want to dance. I want to paint. I want a new tattoo.

current mood: a n d r o m e d a

(cast a stone)

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